Daddy said "Rubes.. we're off to my mates wedding bring your best bib & tucker!" I said "B*ll*xs take the cardboard version I have mice to catch..!!

We got to the hotel somewhere near Northampton, we had a nice room but I needed a wee REALLY BAD!

To my horror..!!! Daddy said I smelt like a rats ar*e & MADE me shower before we went to the wedding. IT TOOK ME AGES TO LICK MY COAT GLEAMING AGAIN!!

Dad was cramping my style so I tried to pull myself a date on the way to the wedding, unfortunately she was more interested in a mouse under the bush.

I found someone who was about the same size as me.. they didn't say much though & I don't think they had ever tasted mouse!?! (too young)

This is me having the First Dance with the Bride & Groom......... MISSION WEDDING CHAOS ACCOMPLISHED!